wonderlanded: (Serious Spy Stuff)
[personal profile] wonderlanded
The Guardian Unlimited Newsblog has been discussing a new, condensed version of the Bible designed to be read in under 100 minutes.

Apart from noting that cutting out Revelations 22:18-20 might not be very safe ("...And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book") the best part is in the comments.

Challenged to summarise the central text of Christianity in just 100 words, readers have come up with some truly inspired stuff.

I'm having trouble choosing between a couple of them:

"Old Testmanet: Sex, Nudity, Violence, Vengeance, Gang Rape, Murder, Genocide, Ethnic Cleansing - and the occasional prophecy.

New Testament: Letters, Sermons, After-Dinner Speeches, unreliable eye-witness accounts and a weak final act with an over-reliance on Monsters and Babylonian Whores."

...and the one that seems to be slightly confused about Peter Rabbit.

Date: 2005-09-21 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pescana.livejournal.com
Bwahahaha! I like the first one you listed better, but they're both funny.

Date: 2005-09-21 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cangetmad.livejournal.com
The Peter Rabbit one is practically perfect.

Date: 2005-09-21 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyxoc.livejournal.com
Yes, I'm also voting for the rabbit version.

Date: 2005-09-21 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zoje-george.livejournal.com
Rabbit. Definitely.

Date: 2005-09-21 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wonderlanded.livejournal.com
I think the bunny one just gets better each time. It's the buttons.

Incidentally, have you ever seen The Brick Testament? There's some fabulous stuff in there.

Date: 2005-09-21 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rms10.livejournal.com
This one made me giggle:

"1. Genesis
2. Exile
3. Redemption
4. Apocalypse
5. ????
6. Prophet!"


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